Savage Love: The History and Language of Dan Savage's Sex Advice Empire
Since 1991, Savage Love has served as a provocative and influential voice in the world of sex and relationship advice. What began as a small column in a Seattle weekly newspaper has evolved into a global phenomenon, spanning syndicated print columns and a popular weekly podcast. Written by Dan Savage, the column has not only provided guidance to readers but has also fundamentally altered the lexicon of modern dating and sexuality.
The Origins of a Syndicated Phenomenon
The journey of Savage Love started in Madison, Wisconsin, where Dan Savage was working as a manager at an independent film video store. During this time, he befriended Tim Keck, a co-founder of The Onion. When Keck moved to Seattle to help launch the alternative weekly newspaper The Stranger, Savage offered a piece of advice that would change his life: every paper needs an advice column, because even if people claim to hate them, they always read them.
Savage typed up a sample, and the job was his. Initially, the column was born from a desire to provide honest, non-clueless advice to the LGBT community, as Savage felt mainstream heterosexual advice columnists often failed to address gay perspectives accurately. Over the decades, the column expanded from The Stranger to dozens of newspapers across the US, Canada, Europe, and Asia.
The Evolution of the Savage Lovecast
In October 2006, the brand expanded into the digital realm with the Savage Lovecast. This weekly podcast features telephone advice sessions, allowing Savage to interact more dynamically with his audience. New episodes are released every Tuesday, continuing the legacy of the written column in a modern, audio-driven format.
Key Facts
- Founded: 1991 in The Stranger (Seattle).
- Format: Syndicated newspaper column and a weekly podcast (Savage Lovecast).
- Podcast Release Day: Every Tuesday.
- Core Philosophy: Providing honest, often irreverent advice on sex and relationships.
- Cultural Impact: Coined numerous terms including "monogamish" and "pegging."
A Unique Lexicon: Neologisms and Social Rules
One of the most lasting legacies of Savage Love is its contribution to the English language. Savage has popularized several neologisms (newly coined words) and initialisms that have entered mainstream culture.
Relationship Frameworks and Rules
Savage has developed specific "rules" to help readers navigate complex interpersonal dynamics:
- The Campsite Rule: In relationships with significant age or experience gaps, the more experienced partner has a responsibility to leave the less experienced partner in as good a state (emotionally and physically) as they found them. This includes avoiding the transmission of STDs, unwanted pregnancies, or excessive emotional baggage.
- The Tea and Sympathy Rule: Created following a 2009 scandal in Portland, this rule suggests that even after a relationship ends, one should be kind and avoid making public statements intended to ruin a former partner's life or career.
Famous Terms and Definitions
The column is well-known for defining modern sexual behaviors and relationship styles:
- Monogamish: A term coined in 2011 to describe couples who are mostly monogamous but have an agreement allowing for some sexual activity outside the relationship.
- Pegging: A term popularized via a reader vote in 2001 to describe a woman using a strap-on dildo to perform anal sex on a male partner.
- GGG (Good, Giving, and Game): A mantra encouraging partners to be good in bed, give equal pleasure, and be game for various activities within reason.
- Tolyamory: A term introduced in 2024 describing a person in a monogamous relationship who is aware of and tolerates their partner's occasional outside sexual encounters.
- Saddlebacking: A term describing Christian teenagers engaging in unprotected anal sex to preserve their virginity.
| Term | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Monogamish | Mostly monogamous with agreed-upon exceptions. |
| Pegging | Female partner performing anal sex on a male partner via strap-on. |
| GGG | Good, Giving, and Game. |
| DTMFA | "Dump the motherfucker already." |
| Tolyamory | Tolerating a partner's occasional outside sexual activity. |
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the "Campsite Rule"?
The campsite rule dictates that the more experienced partner in a relationship should leave their less experienced partner in a healthy state, both physically and emotionally, avoiding the imposition of STDs, unplanned pregnancies, or heavy emotional baggage.
What does "monogamish" mean?
Monogamish refers to a relationship structure where a couple is primarily monogamous but has an explicit understanding that allows for some degree of sexual activity outside the primary partnership.
How did the term "pegging" become popular?
In 2001, Savage challenged his readers to name the act of a woman performing anal sex on a man using a strap-on dildo. After a reader vote, "pegging" was chosen as the winning term.
What is the Savage Lovecast?
The Savage Lovecast is a weekly podcast version of the advice column that includes telephone advice sessions. It has been released every Tuesday since October 2006.
What does GGG stand for?
GGG stands for "Good, Giving, and Game," representing the ideal of being skilled in bed, ensuring equal pleasure for a partner, and being open to new experiences within reason.